Timing is Everything

Ever had the feeling that you were the only person in the world who was going through some major crisis and nobody else was going through it. I used to know a lot of people like that, I called them narcissists.
Bout two weeks ago, roughly, I mean who's counting the days!! I felt like that. Now I know what you all are thinking, I am not like them(DB swear). But, i was just worried about not getting a seat in the train leaving with all my future plans which I tried and worked so hard on. I felt as I was the only one waiting, a feeling experienced by the population.
But then, today, a realisation came upon me. I was at this seminar and well ,there many like me, who were also playing the waiting game I like was. So, i wasn't the only lazy one or the sacred one there. Sure, there were others who had gone through the finer details of every document twice or thrice over, but there were others like me who stilll didn't have all their documents. That gave me so much comfort!!!
What I realised from this is this... you can't rush things. You really can't because what I realised was that there is a time and place for everything.

Where does all this end?

This whole journey that we are a part of. Born to tread on the already carved, mapped and laid out path. The signs are missing and directions are a plenty. Roadblocks are a natural to the path, with smooth open roads present after every.
You strike up mutual admiration with fellow travelers, some stick with you till the very end, others take a different path, some lead you down the easy path, others, bring you back to the hard path, the right one. Many will smile when they want to froen at you, others will smile with only you around.
At the red signal you wait, to observe the going-ons around you. To just sit atill and watch. These signals are rare, enjoy the moment.
After eons of walking time, understanding, loving, hating, enjoying, grieving etc. you come to your pit stop. Thinking it to be the end of all. But, oh how wrong you are?
It doesn’t end here. It doesn’t anywhere. It continues. You might not be alive anymore, but life moves on. You cease to exist in your physical form of course. But you will still live on, in forms of memories, in photos, videos, letters, incidents, traditions, momentos. But more importantly you continue your journey in the hearts and minds of your loved ones. You live on forever, in a way of course.
All this, never ends.

The Bitter Pill

There are certain instances in life from which the hurt thrust upon you, you want to feel it. No matter how painful it is. That feeling which at best can’t be described, is also always very difficult for people to share. For me, it is more embarrassing then difficult, because there are these certain perceptions which people have of me, and I somehow feel the responsibility of upholding it. (lame?)
Talking about the problem will help you figure it out and rid of it in a way. That’s what friends are for. To help you get out of a problematic quicksand one pull at a time.
But, I want to feel the hurt, the pain. Almost hear my heart crack a little, grasping with the fact that my mind’s gone numb with the news, coming to terms with the realization that no matter how much you love, trust and care about the person, it’s of no use to think about then if they do not feel the same way about you.
The betrayal small or big) makes us realize that, it hurts yes, but. At least the truth is out in the open. And the truth, what they say about it is true, it hurts like hell.

People Always Leave

People always leave. They have to I think. People come into our lives with an expiry date. Isn’t it always good to enjoy the thing before its expiration date. Because later on, it becomes disgusting, the whole relationship just sees to be dragging, there only for its namesake and nothing else.
Once they leave, they don’t take anything with them and go. They leave it all behind for us to sieve through it, to separate the happy from the sad, the angry from the joy, the rubbish from the gold. We finally, after a lot of thought-provoking actions and reactions realize that, ‘whatever happens, happens for the good’.
We get back into the chaos of things, make new connections, establish trust, life becomes all rainbows and sunshine for us again with new friends. Then the f**k-up happens, the people who left or where thrown out, now want back in.
There you are standing in the middle of time being pulled both towards the future and the past. Which one is it? How do you know that the step taken is being taken in the right direction?

White Night

How can you miss something when it does not even belong to you? It wasn’t mine or anyone else’s to begin with. It was just there. A glance which became a moment frozen for eternity in the deep recess of my mind. A moment in which everything is forgotten but everything is remembered. Emotions breaking like the waves, sweeping you off your feet (figuratively speaking of course). The myriad of emotions contrast each other like ‘Yes’ and ‘No’.
The moon at 12:47 am on 4th of May was painfully beautiful. The glow which surrounded it, made it seem all soft and pure. But untouchable and unreal at the same time. It’s dreamlike hypnotic rays drew me in its glow. I felt like an angel sitting under its effervescent glow. Gazing at it made everything seem worthwhile.
It made me wan to cry and smile at the same time.
I could have passed eternity with you, but like all good things, it disappeared away with time. And that hurt. It hurt because I knew I couldn’t see the same moon again. My moon as I know it, had gone. Its moment in my life over.
There will of course be more, many actually, not countable. But one will compare to this.
Sounds stupid, but. Stupid is as a stupid does.
I’ll tell you why it made me happy, because at that moment in time, that image of the moon became more than an image. It became an memory of something which made you smile when everything else which belonged to you made you frown.
I miss my painfully beautiful moon and that one tiny star located to its left diagonally.

I Think We Should Be Strangers

I still don’t get it why some people have this inane desire and need to know what is happening in my life.
The good is not handled well by them at all, every change is dissected till nothing is left, every decision is being gossiped about, every step is marked and followed by a close and keen eye, every word remembered to be thrown back at every opportunity presented with, every new relationship questioned.
What gets under my skin is that ‘If I am not poking my nose in your affairs, then why are you poking you Aquarian noses in my life. I am not even remotely interested in yours. But you still want to know. Why??!!

My friend reasoned, “Curiosity”. I snap back, “When will it kill them?”