Question Everything??

Oh! What a web we weave,

First we harness, then we decieve.

Everything around is a question mark; in big bold mark. it disappears for a moment, but sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It's not fair. This whole boredom shit leads you to question the most unnecessary (or necessary) things in life. You tend to see friends as enemies and enemies as friends. This is turn confuses both the categories and most importantly YOU.
But there is as they say, no matter how cliche it sounds, a light at the end of the long, winding, dark tunnel. For me the light is my grandma. I'm as I may say, running to her house to escape from this. You may say I am a coward. But I'm just to bored and scared to care. I love her and she loves me. Its Unconditional love. Period. You all can go to hell for all I care.
Adios

You've Worn Me Down

Maybe I'm being too demanding,wanting to know what's happening in the life of my friend. i don't want to know all the things, but I surely would think that I have some rights as a friend to demand to know what the problem is if there is one. when asked, the reply is "You wouldn't understand". then f-ing make me understand, I'm more than willing to spend an entire day with you to know and understand what you are going through. But if you only refuse to tell me then what am I supposed to do.
Yes it does hurt when you confide in someone else, but it in a bigger picture it doesn't matter because the my priority is that you find the solution to your problem. You probably cannot tell me that particular problem because you feel I might not respond the way you want or just... see I don't know what to do now as well since I don't know what the problem is. There is something off, I can't put my finger on it, but you certainly worn me down. trust me, I m not saying all this I want to be like golden boy or DQ ( i.e them wanting attention et all). I'm just worried about you lately, and instead of you letting me help you, you just let grow this gigantasoraus size of a wall, and have completely blocked me. No problem, because I think you yourself have no idea what the problem is and haven't as yet identified it as we have. Or maybe, according to you there is no problem as such. You find nothing wrong in what you do. Accepted, but then I'm very sure that there are certain limitations and restrictions which one needs to follow. YOur entire world that you know off cannot all be wrng now can it?. And I know you don't care what the world thinks. Wake up and smell the coffee, you have to care atleast 3% of the world thinks about you. It doesn't work any other way. You are not someone special.
So maybe when you finally realise it ( the sooner the better) we are here. But I'm not going to come to you and ask you what the problem is anymore. I will not even bring up the issuse. Matter of fact, according to me it never occured and you can very well do what the hell you want to do. And if you feel like it, then keep me informed. And please I beg of you do not give me feeble excuses such as " I boarded the Kurla train by mistake". That was the lowest of the low. If you do not want to state the reason very well fine. Just say " I can't tell you" . Finished. Because I will understand that you some doubts over it or me and so...I won't give it second thoughts.
This is the last advice or talk I'm going to give you over this topic. You are playing with the real emotions of two people over here. One is a friend, the other I don't know, but I do feel sad for him as well.( I'm not kidding). If as you say " There is nothing going on between either of us", well stop giving them even the smallest of hints that something will happen in near future. And if you again are going to respond to this with your trademark answer "You won't understand", then help me understand, because that is what I'm here for. And if you feel "No, I can't because you won't understand" then, may God be with.

Until the next crisis

floating high above the world in my bubble
i look around and see my kind.
trapped in the maze of peer pressure alike
forcing ourselves to like our dislikes.


Life, it isn't supposed to be this hard.


saying the words they want to hear
seeing the things we want to see
hearing only what we want to hear.

then you'll come along
a sent arrow knowing full well
its aim and target.
one hears this voice
"hello!!!"


the prick has made its presence felt.


you say the words you want to say
see the things you don't want to see
hear the things you know you don't want to listen


I thank you for being there my friends.
until the next crisis

I love you guys

P.S. there no pic of navjot(f) so i' m mentioning you.

Navjot

Into Dust

I was at my friends house, and all of us(there were 6 of us including me) were just sitting around and hanging out as we tend to do when we are with friends.I... I don't know what happened but it hit me like a lightning bolt from out of the blue. there i was, solving the Mid-day crossword( I love it!!!) when I felt out of place. Physicaly yes because I wasn't in Bombay anymore but, mentally I felt lost. Just imagine, a room full of your friends, there's food, music's playing aand suddenly you can't help but realise the fact that " I don't belong here". Feeling alone with your friends. It pulls at your heart and completely strains your mind, which makes you mind f-ed for about a day or two and you want to just go away because can't bear that feeling anymore. And then you start to wonder, "Is it me?" or "Is it them?". You don't want to know the answer anyways.

MAybe it was a bad phase that I was going through. It would eventually go away.

I saw my bond completely scatter and turn into dust right in front of me. It scared the shit out of me. So, I just picked up my bag, spoke to them over the phone ( they had gonne out to get stuff) tell them bye and then I left, to actually feel lost and alone among hordes of strangers that I meet everywhere I go. The feeling was just the same. Nothing new.
The most striking part about this entire incident, I didn't feel an ounce of guilt doing what I did to them. Shame on me.